So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wish there were birth control emojis
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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