ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
