Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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