so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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