Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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