Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize