..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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