Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
