Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
