trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
