In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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