Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We named our party play list daddy issues
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
