Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
