Nicole vs. Life
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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