it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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