i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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