i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
