So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
