so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
