my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
