Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
