cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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