Will you blow on my dice?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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