the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
