There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
