you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
