i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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