Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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