Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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