Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
