we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
