So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
