i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
