i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
