all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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