My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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