Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
