FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
