We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize