still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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