dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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