Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize