also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
