Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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