Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
