I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
