I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
