You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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