Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
