If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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