think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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