Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
