I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
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