I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
