She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize